Post written by Christa Avampato. You can follow Christa on Twitter.
“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” – Orson Welles
Last week I was featured on Daily Worth, a site that provides advice, tips, and information to help women better manage their finances. Amanda Steinberg, the founder of the site, asked me to write an article that showcased the more vulnerable side of money management.
I suggested that I write a piece about what it’s like to grow up in a family that doesn’t have much money and then become an adult who has a stable financial life. I’m fascinated by the psychology of money and thought this would be a perfect opportunity to explore the subject. How does growing up with no money affect our view of money as an adult?
I wrote the post with some difficulty. How could I create an arc that has a positive spin at the end? How do I talk about my childhood honestly without sounding “whoa is me” and how do I talk about my current financial stability without sounding like I’ve got it all figured out (because I certainly don’t). How do I remain strong, even while discussing my own vulnerability?
Taking these questions into consideration, I sent Amanda a post I was really happy with and was surprised at her response.
“This is a precious piece and it’s impeccably written…I am not 100% sold on your conclusion…I’m just left wanting to see a little more conflict. There’s almost something too perfect in the way you’ve wrapped it all up. So, can you do an alternate ending, perhaps one that shows a little more vulnerability? Show that you’re a little less perfect?”
I was speechless at first – a rare occasion. Did she really just call my piece precious? I’ve spent my whole life perfecting my craft, perfecting me. And I’m not there by a long shot! And even if I was, who gets to perfection and then says, “No, let me make myself a little less perfect.” I was stumped on this one.Then I took a deep breath and emailed Laura immediately (of course!)
What was I supposed to do with this feedback? Then I reminded myself that feedback in any form is part of being a writer, and all I had to do was listen to see if the feedback had some merit. If I’m going to be a writer and I want an editor, then I had better get off my soapbox and at least try to take the note to see if it actually improves my work.
While it was painful to eek out an alternative ending, it made for a much more solid piece. I still can’t read it out loud without tearing up. Perhaps that’s the way to tell when writing really gets to the heart.
I didn’t consciously realize how the psychology of money, set when I was a child, has profoundly impacted me to this day. I have been working for years to wrap up all my insecurities and concerns with a bright shiny red bow. And then I took that package, stuffed it into the back of my mind, and went on with my life. While on some level that makes my life today easier than it was when I was younger, never articulating all my concerns, resolved or not, didn’t allow others to learn from my experience.
I was cheating my readers by giving them a perfect ending. Really it’s much more valuable to give them me, whole and imperfect. Amanda pushed me to get at what’s been living in my subconscious for a very long time. It’s not an easy thing to do, and it’s not an easy thing to ask someone else to do.
After sending Amanda the changed ending she wrote me this note:
“Yes. Now you have it. Now I have tears in my eyes. Now you’re not perfect any more and we can all relate and support one another… Awesome.”
Amanda asked me to take a long, hard look at my deep-rooted fears and stare them down, for my benefit and for the benefit of anyone who reads the post. It takes courage to write honestly from the gut; it takes even more courage to edit honestly from the gut and ask people who give everything to give even more.
That’s what Amanda did, and I’m grateful to her for helping me find the truer, less perfect, and much improved alternative ending.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
That is a fantastic take on an essential part of storytelling and marketing in general.
I've been combing through some of my own journals to jog my memory about what was happening during some dark times–times when I know my behavior and mindset were horrible.
Wouldn't you know it? I didn't write anything self-incriminating in there.
I find that I'm usually remembering the last time I told the story, not the event itself.
Thanks for a thought provoking post.
Hi Josh! Thanks for your comment. Story telling is such a beautiful art form. More than the content itself, the actual telling of the story becomes its own entity!
Very well done, Christa! To new and improved storytelling.
As a fundraiser, I find myself telling stories in my line of work all the time and realize how challenging it can be. It's an art form that should never be ignored.
I strive to be the storyteller that Meryl Streep played in "Out of Africa" where she would craft an entire story after someone starts her off with one beginning sentence.
Thanks for sharing.
I love this post Christina! Thanks for sharing. I can relate to some of your money spending habits…getting the best deal on laundry detergent for save a quarter and then going overboard on buying gifts or dinners. I suppose its all about balance and making long and short term goals about our finances.
And we all go to the fabulous Laura for advice, because we know we'll get the best! Thanks again!
p.s. great entry title!
Hi Christa! I still read this story – and the one at Daily Worth – and find them to be extremely inspirational. The content definitely resonates with my own personal experiences – but so does your writing about it from both perspectives in the collective articles. You always teach me something new!
As someone who is a voracious reader and has dreams of being a writer, I think you touch upon what can truly weaken a great story – when everything ends up too perfect in the end. Nothing in life is perfect. I have yet to read it, but I'm off to read the article you submitted to Daily Worth. I look forward to more of your posts!
Global Samba, Linda, and Laura,
Thanks for your support of this post. Alternative endings can be so difficult – your friendship makes them easier to write!
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for the support! There is such a pressure to be perfect in everything we do, including the way we wrap up our stories. What I sometimes forget is that leaving the door open at the end of a story leaves room for an even better sequel.