Post written by Laura Cococcia. You can follow Laura on Twitter.
Hmm. Those who know me know that I don’t follow conventional gender role rules. Need I say more?
And, for the record, I didn’t choose this book. I won it in a Secret Santa gift swap.
I’m not sure if I can even summarize this book – it’s monumentally disturbing. This isn’t even one of those books that’s making fun of gender roles. It’s real. It scares me.
Instead, I will give you the most interesting “rules” in this “guidebook,” share my responses and let you judge for yourselves.
Rule 1: At a concert or any other musical performance, a lady does not applaud until the end of a complete musical number. If she is unsure, she follows the lead of the others in the audience.
My response: Oops. I clapped really loud about one measure before Duran Duran ended “The Reflex” at their concert 20 years ago.
Rule 2: When a lady initiates a telephone conversation, she knows it is her responsibility to end that conversation.
My response: Does hanging up on a boyfriend count as being a lady?
Rule 3: A lady does not raise her voice when angry. It is only proper to shout at someone when she is in danger or about to score a touchdown.
My response: Last time I checked, women weren’t allowed to play American football.
Rule 4: A lady uses the word ‘companion’ when introducing two friends who live together. She realizes the term denotes a special relationship that is beyond boyfriend/girlfriend.
My response: I guess introducing my mom to my friends that live together as “living in sin” was probably not very lady-like.
Rule 5: At the office, as at home, a lady always refills the ice trays.
My response: I can’t even comment on this one.
Most of these rules are ridiculous, but the other ones that discuss how “a lady should never be late for a meeting” or “a lady says thank you” are just human things to do. Let’s not leave men out – I love men. Rules based on physical parts are outlandish.
Enough of my rant. Comments welcome. Maybe I’ve just been out of touch for too long and this is how ladies are supposed to be. Or maybe I’m just a “regular” person who is nice, gracious and occasionally witty.
Is a rule book for normal people out yet?
Author: Candace Simpson-Giles
Published: 2001, Rutledge Hill Press
Genre: Nonfiction
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i never refill the ice cube trays, and i'm a guy! this one is my favorite review LC, some people just don't get it.
You are the quintessential lady, my dear :)
are you kidding me? this book hilariously terrible! i can't believe it was published in 2001…who allowed that? have you researched the author? are you sure she wasn't kidding about writing the book?
Laura, your review is fantastic! I especially like your take on introducing your live in boyfriend although I prefer "special friend" myself
two parts of this post that I love LC: 1) Filling the ice cube trays at work. Having worked with you for several years, the author would have a lot more to worry about ettiquette-wise than refilling the ice cube trays. Where would she net out on crashing under the desk for half an hour or mocking Dusty? 2) The term companion – we've called some of your "companions" lots of differnt names – just never that one. I think this is an excellent book – if we were living in a Jane Austen novel
I don't see what's wrong in these suggestions. I only raise my voice when I'm scoring a touchdown. That's just common sense.
Tom – your memory is always so perfect.
Liz – I know you're such a traditional woman. :)
Hi Laura-
That's hilarious! While I have a deep respect for what some might consider "old-fashioned" values, this is ridiculous! Was this supposed to be given as a gag gift?? Seriously, ice cube trays??? Who even used those anymore?
Very funny and I got quite a chuckle out of this one!
:-)Stephanie
When I first saw the title of this post, I was a little scared (like, why on earth is this book being reviewed?), but then I read the post, and was relieved and delighted. Loved your responses and share your horror. And realized it's a great idea to review books that are totally disturbing.
Second, third and fourth, on filling the ice cube trays at work. What is the correlation between ice and lady-like behaviour? That's awesome in it's absolute bizarreness. And yet, gives me an idea….
Thanks for the laugh-I love books, but this one is just plain crazy. I consider myself to be a lady when the occasion warrants, which is basic human courtesy mixed in with repect for those who respect me in turn. As for never raising my voice…like that's going to happen!
This proves that you can pretty much get anything published these days!
Ice trays…do they count if the trays have "special"shapes????Kidding. Loved the post!
Wow, need to call a halt to the superiority parade here, folks. No gender roles are being discussed here. The book is patently and thoroughly about really reasonable things that a "lady" does as opposed to what a female who is "not a lady" does.
Gotta keep in mind the term "lady" carefully used does not refer to all females any more than the term "gentleman" refers to all males – both refer only to those who know how to behave with common courtesy.
For instance, a "gentleman" would also do every single one of those things. Not as opposed to a "lady" but, in both cases as opposed to a "yahoo," "jerk," or "poltroon."
All the folks reading this as a "keep women in the kitchen" type document seem to be starting from a fundamental reading comprehension failure.
@Stephanie @Jessica @Lindsay @Stefy – glad you all liked it – thought it was time for a bit of humor!
@anonymous – thanks for sharing your view – always love it when we have a differing opinion involved. I think everyone comes to the table with their own set of values and perspectives – if you haven't yet read it, I would encourage you to. There's also a similar book she wrote about men – I have both. Very interesting perspectives. Thanks again for your opinion.
Hilarious! Laura, I love that you won this in a Secret Santa swap – I feel a very funny short short piece coming on about a holiday party with Secret Santas…
You may already know about the biggie fashion sins like wearing suntan-colored pantyhose. But did you know that little girl fashions like pigtails and overalls look ridiculous on grown women? Of course, with every rule there are exceptions: Sarah Jessica Parker’s Carrie Bradshaw on “Sex and the City” comes to mind as someone who breaks most of the following rules. But for most of us, there are a few guidelines to what looks good.
Im thankful for the blog.Much thanks again. Keep writing.