I’d love to say that The American Wife was recommended or on my ‘to read’ list. Honestly, though, I was at O’Hare on my way to Grand Cayman last year and realized I left my books home. So, I picked it up at the airport bookstore since it was recommended to me by many avid readers.

No better time to read a book about the American presidency than near the start of a new presidential era. American Wife is a story of the other side; the woman behind the man, living a life into which she was not elected.

Curtis Sittenfeld’s work develops a simple character: a young, single woman (Alice) with a great family and friends, but who has a hidden secret (don’t we all). Through a fairy-tale, whirlwind romance, she marries her seeming soul mate, a man with a prominent family history, yet he is always searching for ways to make his name.

Comfortable in her own skin, Alice is unsure of the new life into which she’s entered. They have a marriage similar to many; they experience their share of happiness and marital strife. Yet they have opposing politics and different views on what it means to live a fulfilling life.

But here’s the cool part: even as the wife of the President of the United States, Alice ultimately maintains her security, personal politics and life focus. Not unlike Jackie.

How many of us, whether in relationships, spurred by family dynamics or motivated by lofty ambitions, become chameleons and forget ourselves? I sure have. It’s human nature. But Alice handles all of the change and chaos that surrounds her with poise and grace.

But Is It That Easy?
That’s where my only critique comes in: is it that easy to not be extremely affected by our circumstances? To not adjust our core beliefs – even slightly – to fit in? To hold our graceful pose not matter what comes our way? Alice is a well-developed character, but I’m not convinced it’s that easy to stay 100% true to ourselves no matter what life throws our way.

I also believe that the book’s themes could just as easily be applied to women in various non U.S. cultures as well as women who are single. Finding one’s identity amidst circumstances, patriarchal norms and familial dynamics is not only for the married woman. History – and Herstory- is all the evidence we need.

That aside, I genuinely enjoyed this book so much that I left in the Caymans at the resort where I stayed, a result of my own core belief that good books should be shared. The resort also keeps a large library of books that visitors have left behind for others to read.

It’s a good thinking book. Less of a chick lit read than one might assume. Even for you men out there – if you’re  a voracious reader or a man committed to understanding the secret minds of women (c’mon, you know you are), you’ll enjoy this one.

Which leads me to the question I have for all of you: Is it our circumstances that shape us or do we shape our circumstances? Does who we become (or who we are) depend on how much money we have, what country we live in, our gender or other factors? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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If I had only found this book in high school – and had been fluent in German at 15 – I would have been a lot smarter in history class, particularly when I was forced to stay studying at home as a result of the infamous “Hot Dog Incident” of 1990.

When I was 15, I was trotting along main street in my hometown of Ridgefield, Connecticut to get a hot dog, as one does on a suburban Saturday. My high school class mates will fondly remember ‘Chez Lenard,’ the god of the town gourmet hot dog stand. When we “went into town,” which was the only thing to do in Ridgefield, a visit to the stand was the adventurous highlight.

On this particular day, I never got the hot dog because I was hit by a car.

I didn’t look both ways when crossing the street, as often happens to those hit by cars. Ultimately, I was fine, but my poor mother watched from the car and had a Mom Freakout, as anyone with a child (or five) would do.

[Fear not: this is not a tangent, we'll get to the book.]

I was home for awhile, recovering from some bruises, but had to keep up with my schoolwork. While generally a good student, I loathed ancient history class. It was likely the only class in which I ever received less than a B.

I would rather stick a fork in my eye than read my ancient history text book.

But there I was, stuck at home, with pages and pages of essays to write about what I read in Chapters 2-10. I remember it vividly since it was associated with the hot dog car incident, which is one of those incidents that are hard to forget.

Fast forward 18 years. When I first started reading Gombrich’s A Little History of the World, I thought, “Here we go again.” Snore. But it was recommended to me as different, easy to understand, fun to read. Even with that assurance, I was skeptical that ancient history and fun were related.

I was wrong.

From the start, Gombrich enlists the reader on a journey, taking her or him on a pilgrimage from ‘before there were any people’ up to the end of World War II. That’s a long time to cover in 280 pages.

But he does it masterfully, in a style written for young readers – and yay! – we adult readers like it. Simple sentences, easy explanations and wit. Chapter titles like “An Unlucky King and Lucky King,” and “Heroes and Their Weapons,” wrap it all up in digestible morsels with factual information.

What’s even better is that it covers more than American and British history, which is most of what we were taught in the U.S., China, Turkey, Africa are all included equally.

And yes, while Gombrich illustrates that history *does* repeat itself, he doesn’t write the same bland comatose-invoking text over and over. It’s fresh in each chapter.

Thankfully, I received it as a gift two years ago; since then, I’ve given it as a gift to 5 people, who’ve all attested to resulting increased intelligence. You will be smarter after reading this book, I promise. Like “Jeopardy” smarter. If you aren’t, I guarantee your money back on the purchase.

P.S.: I’m fine since the car accident, just have a bit of sciatica, which I mostly attribute to aging. I don’t eat hot dogs anymore.

How did you learn about history when you were growing up? Any favorite historical topics that keep you coming back for more?

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I know what you’re thinking. Enough Eat, Pray, Love already.

Everywhere I go – subway, airport, bakery – someone is reading it. By someone I mean the 90% of the American female population.

Tomorrow, the movie comes out. And more women will be eating, praying and loving again.

But, in my opinion, popular does not equal trite. This book has had the power to change many lives, including my friends and my own. In fact, I actually know a man that read it. And loved it. (Though, admittedly, he did not read it in public for fear of being mocked by others).

Let’s take a look at the universality of this piece. Elizabeth Gilbert, at 31, realizes the American dream (husband, suburbs, children) is not what she wants. A faint internal voice murmurs this reality until it gets so loud that the voice is screaming – and she ends up on the bathroom floor wailing one evening, knowing that change is mandatory. Subsequent chapters describe her journey through Italy, India and Indonesia in an effort to challenge herself to find some inner truth.

Now, let’s back up to the bathroom floor part. I can guarantee with 100% certainty that 95% of the women I know have found themselves on the bathroom floor in a similar fetal position, bemoaning some aspect of their lives that is no longer tolerable. The other 5% are in denial.

This fact is what makes the book so inspiring and yes, popular.

But some people didn’t like it.

Some question it and cite comparative views to other inspirational books and women. I get it. Is finding your answer and purpose all about traveling the world? But what if we don’t have the money, resources or time to do so?

I think there are ways. In my view, the book’s popularity has only had positive repercussions. Women practicing yoga is at an all-time high. Gilbert’s book signings and readings are often sold out. I even wrote to her to let her know how the book changed my life and she wrote back personally, mentioning that the hundreds of letters she’s received have given her great comfort by sharing her truth.

And she doesn’t claim to be the Sage For All Women. I saw her speak in Chicago last year and she admitted that since the book, she’s had many low times too. She’s what I might call a Regular Person.

And a Regular Person has the power to choose his or her own adventure and create their own reality in whatever way they are able. I’ve found that it just takes a dash of willingness to plant, tend to and grow your own juicy life, with or without an official passport.

I hesitate to write more about the plot, evolution of character or outcomes because it takes everyone’s personal filter to understand how it will impact you.

But take a look and decide for yourself.  If you’ve read it – or even if you haven’t – I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Did you like it? Why? Did you hate it? Tell all.

I’m proud to say, though, that Gilbert has been the inspiration for me to get off the couch, dust myself off and get writing again.

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