The 80s Fashion Revival Can’t Buy Me Love

A guest post by Kellie Fitzgerald.

Does the recent 80’s fashion revival scare the hell out of anyone else? Anyone, Anyone, Bueller?

It seems to me that the recent passing of 80’s movie master and narrator of my youth, John Hughes, coincides with fashion designers getting all nostalgic about the decade that I deem a fashion disaster.
I understand a bit of this nostalgia, I still laugh at Long Duk Dong (“What’sa happenin’, Hot Stuff?”) and cry at the birthday cake scene every time I watch Sixteen Candles. However, it does not make me want to go out and dress that way again.
When I look at current style spreads featuring this 80’s revival (such as here and here) I get a dreadful feeling that designers are backsliding with a bad ex-boyfriend and only remembering the good times. I stand back, the overly concerned friend, wanting to shake them and yell “Don’t do it, can’t you see he hasn’t changed! He’s still selfish, greedy and Republican!”

Even still, I am forced to watch the train wreck unfold. Magazines and stores are displaying fall collections which include strong shoulders that would make the ladies of Dynasty bow their heads in shame, ripped acid wash denim and cutout dresses that belong backstage at a Whitesnake concert, and adult-sized tutus that only Madonna and Carrie Bradshaw should be allowed to wear.
Because I feel so strongly about this, I am going to sacrifice my own pride and share an 80’s fashion photo from my adolescence.
Here I am, looking Pretty in Pink, on my first day of school back in the late 80’s. The hair, the shoulder pads, the weaved bandana necklace, the tiered denim skirt- the horror. When I look at this picture, the pubescent awkwardness is almost palatable.
I feel the insecurity that my much deliberated upon first-day-of-school ensemble might not be cool enough. (I can also feel the scratch of the synthetic fiber that made up those gigantic shoulder pads.) I smell the combo of AquaNet and Aussie Sprunch Spray. I remember, I laugh, and then I thank the Style Gods that I have grown up and moved on!
Clearly this 80’s fashion revival is not for me- but why do I care if others go there? Two simple reasons.
First, these trendy pieces are not figure flattering for 85% of the female population. I believe it’s safe to say that liquid leather leggings, jersey knit cutout mini dresses, oversized tees, and acid wash skinny jeans will only look flattering on svelte fashion-forward females who were born sometime after the 80’s- or Sienna Miller (who could wear a dishrag and look gorgeous).
One of my guiding principles of personal style is to dress for your figure first, and then consider following the trends. Something that fits well with a lovely silhouette transcends trends and projects an air of confidence that was blatantly missing from exhibit A, my first-day-of-school picture.

Second, the shelf life of these pieces is sure to be short. As my personal style matures, I find myself building a wardrobe composed of well-tailored basics that will last for years- and adding trends and seasonal flavor through shoes and accessories. I encourage others to do the same. It is a classic “splurge on this, not that” shopping strategy, and these 80’s revival pieces just are not a strategic fit.
Despite everything that I have said here, if you still must incorporate the 80’s into your fall wardrobe, I urge you to buy your pieces at trendy and inexpensive retailers such as H&M; or Zara. br />Oh, and please take some pictures so that we can laugh at your outfit in a few years.

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Kellie Fitzgerald is a Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Googler, Fashionista, Dog Lover, & Wannabe Political Pundit.
Kellie previously ran a personal shopping business under the sassy alliteration “Style Savvy”. She secretly wants to be Stacy London from TLC’s “What Not to Wear.” and still does occasional personal shopping and styling on-demand.
You can read more about Kellie and what she’s up to on her blog, Places to Put Stuff.

Tagged as: Fashion and Style, Kellie Fitzgerald, Pop Culture